Forthright: An Alternate Announcement

Here [to the left] is a little peek at the crib that Bella, Alice, Rose and Esme set up for the baby! I know the chapter seems to have a tragic turn... but the story will have a happy ending!! That is a guarantee!

Here is how it was going to go at one point, before I switched a few things around:

Originally, while the guys were off with the Wolves making battle preparations, Bella was going to call Edward and ask him to come home so that she could tell him everything.

While she was upstairs, she heard screams and crashing sounds from downstairs, so she rushed down to see what was the matter. All of this was happening while the phone was ringing, before Edward picked up. Bella dropped the phone at the bottom of the stairs from shock when she saw that the women were captured by the Guard. Edward was able to hear what was going on from what members of the Guard were saying to the women. He is on the phone, screaming for Bella to run and get out of there. Pahandus "has a really good ear," as we will find out later... he knew there was more to Bella's pulse than her own heartbeat alone... which is why he returned (but that's a story to come).... so anyway, he has a really good ear and can hear Edward on the other end of the phone. He kicks the phone into a corner and stomps on it, destroying it. He doesn't wait for Bella to come with him willingly... instead, he just takes her. However, I decided that her going willingly was necessary for something later in the plot, so I rewrote it. Plus, I wanted Edward and the other guys to find out about the scene in a different way...

This is just one example of how I think I have a plot completely written out, and last minute adjustments are made that go and alter so many things!

To those of you who read "Forthright," or any other fanfic of mine, as ever, have fun reading!

Forthright: Deleted Scene, "The Honeymoon"

This little excerpt fits snugly between Chapters 13 and 14 of Forthright on fanfiction.net. It didn't really fit with the way I wanted the story to go. In fact, I had originally not planned on writing a honeymoon at all, but after all the positive responses from reviewers after the wedding vows, it seemed silly to not show the honeymoon as well. So, here it is! I would like to take a moment to remind you that this is a lemon (which means "a sex scene"). It is for reasons like this that the Mature Content warning pops up before you ever enter this blog...

I am going to eventually get around to posting excerpt in the outtakes for the story later on. However, that will not be until after the story is actually completed, so who knows how long that will be? Anyway, here comes the official disclaimer: I do not own the characters from the Twilight series and am not professionally affiliated with said series in any way. I am not making any money off of these writings. They are here simply for your amusement, so do enjoy them!!

(For any readers not familiar with Forthright, here's a short summary: It is the sequel to The Secret. Perhaps that is where I should begin. Well, anyway, once upon a time, Edward met Bella and fell in love with her and stalked her while she was sleeping. Okay, that's a lot like the original so far, but here's where it changes. He dropped his wallet in her bedroom one night and it led to their awkward courtship where they both fell deeply in love with one another. By the time Ch. 13 of the sequel rolls around, Bella is a vampire, but she is still warm and her heart still beats because before Edward changed her, Jake mixed his blood with her. It's quite the tale, and it can be found by accessing my fanfic site at http://www.fanfiction.net/~duessadelesprit.)

Forthright: The Honeymoon

EPOV

We were on a plane heading to our secret destination. I knew that Bella understood that now that we were married she would be entitled to everything I have (whether she liked it or not). Yet, she was still so insistent on not overspending for anything. I couldn’t have passed up this opportunity, though. Once she set the date for our wedding, I bought the tickets for our private plane ride, the swimsuits and the island. All in the same day, in fact. The part about actually purchasing the entire island, though... well… I might just keep that to myself for now. But in my defense, if you’re going to splurge on something, why not the honeymoon?

“Where are we headed?” she asked.

“The beach,” I replied cryptically, knowing my vague response would drive her crazy.

“You’ll have to be more specific. After all, every piece of land that touches a large body of water can be considered a beach. Some are not as fun as others,” she laughed.

“This beach is warm… just like you,” I said, kissing her arm, and moving my way up to her delicious neck, “And it’s sandy. The sand is white and the ocean is bright blue and clear, just like the skies overhead.”

“Ocean, huh?” she said. “And blue skies?”

“Yes,” I said, kissing the spot behind her ear that I knew drove her wild.

“That doesn’t narrow it down very much,” she pretended to complain as she started to breath somewhat heavily. She arched her back and her body naturally moved in a sensuous way.

“Then let me tell you a little bit more,” I whispered in her ear and she moaned.

I felt her breathing become deeper as I kissed down the side of her neck, up the front of it and along her jaw.

“Tell me everything,” she panted lustily.

“Every thing?” I teased that spot behind her ear again with my tongue as I asked.

“Yes,” she whimpered as her body begged the palms of my hands to caress her breasts.

I moved my right over her top, pulling it down slightly so that I might lick along the edge as I slid my left hand up her dress. My fingers walked their way along her inner thigh and my fingers couldn’t help but slide up the bridge of her panties.

“Then let me tell you what you do to me,” I said in a hushed tone against her neck.

Before we could go any further, the lights ahead of us turned on letting us know that our plane was getting ready to land. The pilot's voice sounded over a speaker, announcing that the passengers (Bella and myself) would be making our exit in less than ten minutes.

“Better yet,” I said with a kiss, “Wait just a little while longer, and I will show you what you do to me.”

**

BPOV

The island was like a fantasy land that appeared in my dreams. I wondered if maybe I should pinch myself… was I going to wake up?

It wasn’t so terribly long ago that I saw myself as Edward’s Eponine… the girl who desperately loved him, but who he would never see as someone worthy to stand by his side. I always used to wait for him to pass me a note in Biology only for it to be for another girl… his Cosette. I used to laugh at that idea and how I would probably die crossing a battlefield to deliver the love note to his true love. But never in a million years was I prepared for the reality that I was his Cosette! I was his true love all along!

“What are you thinking?” he whispered in my ear as he carried me across the threshold of island’s one and only house.

“I’m afraid I’m going to wake up and none of this is going to have been real. I’m afraid that I dozed off in Biology and I’m going to wake up to last year and that none of this will have happened.”

“Well, Mrs. Cullen, if you are dreaming, I pray you never wake up. I want you to sleep forever, in such a case, so that you may always be with me.”

“I want that too,” I sighed.

“Then come to bed.”

I pressed my lips to his neck and giggled as he carried me upstairs.

The entire first floor was open other than the beams for supporting the upper two levels. Edward carried me up the two flights of stairs to the top floor. There was a sort of hallway that split the master bath from the open room and the sitting area. He carried me forward to the four-poster bed which was draped in thin white cotton curtains that flowed loosely in the breeze that came through the open windows.

He laid me down on the soft comforter and hopped in next to me.

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“The bed?”

“The island,” he chuckled.

“Yes! It is so beautiful. I wish we never had to leave, actually.”

“That can be arranged, my beautiful wife.”

His gaze was full of love as he hovered over me and straddled me. He took my wrists in his hands and lifted them over my head, pinning them above me. Now there was a more serious look in his eyes… one of passion and desire.

“You are every dream that I supposed I could never have,” he whispered, pushing his lips to a spot behind my ear that he no doubt knew would send electricity down my spine and coursing through my body.

“Am I?”

“Oh, Bella, yes. I existed for decades and decades, never imagining that you could be real and that I could have you. When you came along, I tried to keep myself from you. I didn’t want to interfere with your life because I honestly believed that I could never have you. I thought you wouldn’t want me…”

“Wouldn’t want you, Edward? Are you kidding me?” I laughed a little at the idea of me not wanting him after having supposed for so long that it was the other way around. “How could you think that? You know very well that you are the guy that every girl wants. What made you think that I wouldn’t want you too?”

“Well,” he grinned, “I may be able to read the thoughts of every woman in the world, except for you of course, but even if I could read your thoughts I would realize that you are not like every woman in the world. You are a singular thing. You do not have the same reactions as other women, Bella. You really are something else.”

“How’s that?” I asked, interested what made him see me as unique.

“Do you remember that night in my car?” he smiled at the memory, “When you told me to tell you want I wanted to tell you, when I wanted to tell you?”

“Yes,” I said, smiling too.

“When your lips touched my eyelids and moved over my face and down to my lips, I knew then that I would do anything to make this day happen. I would do anything to keep you forever, Bella.”

“You said that you didn’t have the strength to stay away from me anymore,” I remembered out loud.

“And I didn’t and never would again. I never will, Bella. I cannot be kept from you. I need you. Every day, I need you.”

“Show me?” I asked.

A half crooked grin spread across his handsome face and he pushed my wrists more tightly to the bed above my head. I closed my eyes as he moved his face to meet mine. He rubbed the side of my nose with his and pushed his lips forward to align with my pout. The sensation of cold, exotic shock was something I never grew tired of. Even though his lips were literally freezing, they burned against my flesh. They started on my lips and moved over my cheek and then brushed over the main artery of my neck.

“Your dress is very pretty,” he said with a smile.

“Thank you.” I wondered why he was choosing this moment to talk about my dress, with all the things we could be talking about… or doing…

“There will always be pictures of you in it to remember it by,” he said, gripping both of my wrists in only one of his hands as he curled the fingers of his other hand over the top of the dress and ripped it away from my body.

I gasped from the shock. My husband just tore my wedding dress off of my body and was tossing it to the floor of the bedroom we were going to share, doing things for the first time as man and wife. Well, vampire and wife, I amended mentally.

I decided that two could play at that game. My hands broke free from his grasp and I gripped his shirt by the collar, pulling it away from his body, making sure that every single button popped off as I did so. I didn’t stop there, but went straight for his pants as well.

“I was saving that tux to show our children someday,” he teased.

“Thankfully there will be plenty of pictures of you in it to remember it by,” I smiled devilishly.

“Oh, is that how it is?” he said with a playful grin.

“Mmmhmm.”

“Well, Mrs. Cullen, don’t you just look so very pleased with yourself?”

“That’s because I am.”

“Yes, love, I can see that,” he said, eyeing my nearly naked body beneath his and laughing a little. “You know, though, I’m afraid I may have played a little prank on you.”

He slid his fingers into my panties and tore them away as well, leaving me completely without cover.

“A prank? What do you mean?”

“You see, my lovely bride, our luggage is empty.”

“What do you mean by empty?”

“I mean just what the word implies… containing nothing, without cargo, and vacant. Empty.”

“What will we wear?” I gasped.

“Whatever Alice sends us before we leave,” he laughed. “Our package will be arriving in four days.”

“Are you serious?” I giggled.

“Oh, yes. I rather do like you this way… naked and all.”

“You didn’t have to go through all that to get me naked, Edward. You need only ask.”

“Well, if I had only known…” he smiled, leaning in for another kiss.

I slid my fingers through his hair and gripped it tightly. I knew that would make him moan, which it did. I tugged his locks tightly and swirled my thumbs down his face.

“Only you could make me this happy,” he sighed.

He thrust his lower abdomen down on top of me and moved his legs between mine. He pushed my body to the mattress and gripped my thighs with his strong hands, lifting them so that they were around his waist. I heard him growl as he pushed his way forward, his center nearing mine. I could feel him hard against me. He licked his fingers and reached between us, massaging my hot center which was growing wet with want for him.

“I have you all to myself here,” he grinned, “And we can be as loud as we wish. I want you to moan for me, Bella. I want you to cry out when you come for me.”

“Then you’d better make me,” I grinned back.

“Oh, I will.” The playful look in his eyes disappeared and his tone became stern. “Turn over for me, baby.”

He quickly pushed my legs away and gripped my hip with one hand, turning me over as he wished. The sheets were warm against the front of my body. They had been basking in the sunlight that poured through the large windows all around us. Edward pushed his fingers along the small of my back, making it respond by naturally dipping down. He slid his fingers along either of my legs, trailing up from my knees to my thighs to my raised bottom. I felt his cool touch between us again, and he pushed his fingertips into my slick center.

“So ready,” he sighed, bringing his fingers to his lips. He gripped my hips and slid his way into my wetness. “Mmm,” he moaned, and I clinched around him from being so aroused. “Do you like this, Bella?” he said. He began thrusting against me lightly, slowly and in wide circles.

I nodded my head.

“Say it.”

“I like it, Edward,” I whispered.

“Louder, Bella…”

“I like it,” I pushed the words out… anything to make him move faster and move harder.

He grabbed me by the back of my thighs, pulling my knees out from underneath me so that I was completely flush with the sheets on the mattress. He pushed down on top of me and I felt him enter deeper than before. My back arched and my legs, on either side of him, wrapped around him.

“Harder,” I sighed.

“What was that?” he asked.

I knew very well that he could hear me and that he knew exactly what I wanted from him.

“Harder,” I said loudly.

He began to thrust harder and faster now. I began to moan as I felt the tension inside of my body rise and begin to move through the course of elation. I closed my eyes as my walls began to tighten. I was so near my release.

“Oh, Edward,” I sighed with love and lust.

My eyes popped open wide as I felt him push my legs away and spin me around again so that I now had my back on the bed and I was facing him. He pushed his lips into the hollow of my neck and hissed, “We are married now, love, and there is no reason here to whisper my name when you come. I want to hear you moan.”

I felt my lips part, and I was staring at him.

“You look like you don’t know what to say, darling,” he grinned. “Why don’t you say my name again, but this time… a little louder…?”

He began to thrust again, this time stroking inside of me to a slow, steady rhythm. After having been so close to the edge once and not being allowed to be pushed the rest of the way, my orgasm was now looking for any excuse to explode. The pace he set was enough to sway my body to rush forward and cry out with need.

“Let me,” I moaned, “Let me have it!”

“Yes,” he hissed in my ear. “You are not a little girl, Bella. You are my wife. And when I fuck you, I want to hear it! Understood?”

“Yes,” I moaned. “Yes, yes, yes…”

He began to push into me harder now and faster.

“Oh God, yes!” I screamed.

At last, the energy that had built up inside of me from his moving back and forth against me released and rocked through my body. I cried out with wild abandon, knowing that no one other than my husband could hear my wailing.

“I love you, Bella,” he said, pushing faster now for his own reward. “I love to hear you. I love to hear…”

He gripped me at the waist and reached his arm around my back to pull me up to him. He released inside of me and continued to push and pull until we both felt numb.

“I love you too,” I whispered as he lay down and pulled me on top of him.

His fingers twined through my hair as we laid in bed, staring out of the large windows to the forthcoming sunset.

More: Lemniscate, Psychopompos, and a Balance

Lemniscate, Psychopompos, and a Balance



In my story, More, I have incorporated a few terms to help readers understand what Bella and Milly are, and to help illustrate how the world of magic that is all around them functions.

For those of you not familiar with the Lemniscate of Bernoulli, it is a figure-eight and in mathematics represents infinity. In More, it is an ancient title associated with someone who is born with magical properties in their blood and who has the power to never die. Now that Bella has been bitten, in my tale, she has met both of these standards and can now be called a Lemniscate.

In ancient Greek mythology, a psychopompos is a "guider of souls" (sometimes referred to as "boundary crosser") who gives safe passage to souls who have just passed on. These guides take those souls to a variety of destinations, depending on where the dead one is called to go. I have also looked into the term with a modern mind and discovered that it pops up now and then in writings of those who study Carl Jung (the Swiss psychiatrist who founded analytical psychology). In this Western way of thinking, the word refers to a condition that acts as a balance between the conscious and unconscious mind. This is a significant way to understand the word when we remember that Bella dreams, even though she is a vampire. I want to ask the question, "Where do we go when we dream and why is it that we are not in control of ourselves the way we are when we are awake?"

It is because of Bella's gift of being a boundary crosser that she was able to guide Ma'at to Nya. They are in different realms, but they will be reunited through her. That is also why Milly was able to come to Bella when Bella was sleeping, right before she was changed into a vampire. Milly has magic in her blood as well, and is connected to Bella in this way. I haven't really mentioned it yet in the story, but Milly can always sense when someone is about to die. So, Milly could sense that Bella was about to "die" in a way, which is what happens when one is changed into a vampire, so she came to Bella through Bella's mind. She sent Bella through a door where Bella met a guide. Remember that creepy scene in Ch. 52 ("Portal")? Remember how that child turned out to be Bella? Her journey began there, when she realized that she was her own guide. The journey for others began there too, as we will come to see. Well, we kind of already had a taste of it. Remember when Edward was able to "get inside of Bella's mind" when after she was bitten (Ch. 53, "Follow")? She drew him in to her with this ability. She will do it again.

That brings me to the next point... The Balance. Don't worry, I'm not going to give everything away here in this one little paragraph, but I am going to mention a few things about the battle between Bella and Aro. There will be three entities that pour out of Aro when Bella brings him into the arena of their minds, so to speak. This tar-like ooze is made up of Corcece ("blind heart"), "Abessa," ("being without substance), and Malvenu ("not welcome"). These three entities act as one side of an eternal scale. And by eternal, I don't mean "going on forever," but rather something that has always existed and something that always will. On the other side of the scale we have three more entities called Fidelia ("faith"), Speranza ("hope") and Charissa ("charity"). It is these three women that "ate the fruit of life from a glorious vine," and it was the first three that were in the vine at the cave that whispered to Bella that she couldn't go on and who went so far as to try to bind her down (Ch. 69, "Vines"). The vine is meant to represent that these two polar forces are connected, and yet they give different fruits. Bella will be told by both that it is "by their fruits that the world knows them." People do not meet the Women at the Balance or be drained of their pains until after they die, so they have never met these six entities while in life. Yet, they have met them in a way. They turn up all around people by way of the consequences to what people think, say and do. Anyway, more on that later in the story.

There is one final note I would like to make here:
When I chose the names for Ma'at and Apep (which is Aro's name before he became a vampire), I chose these specific names because of what these two characters represent in ancient Egyptian myth. Apep personified chaos and darkness. Ma'at personified balance, harmony, justice and truth. They weren't perceived as "good" or "bad." That dichotomy didn't come about until several centuries later. In the very oldest recorded myths, they were seen with a different set of philosophical eyes, so to speak. It is important to remember these things when thinking of such ancient legends. It was a very different time and culture.



In closing, I would like to share a little bit of dialogue from a coming scene. I won't say exactly who says, but it is said to Bella. That is as much as I will give away on the matter:

"We are all flawed in some significant way, Bella. Yet, the balance lies in recognizing those weaknesses and working on them so that they ultimately become our greatest strengths. Do not feel deficient and as though you are lacking... you are humble. You know right and you know good... find your balance, Bella. Learning and growth is all that will ever be asked of you. Do not anguish over puzzles... you will be prepared to solve them at the time they need to be completed. Do not rush.

"Remember that if you are not pleased with your feelings that you may choose to turn around. Just never be so prideful that you isolate yourself and think so highly of yourself that you destroy opportunities for yourself and for others. Give reverence to life and celebrate it. Be of sound mind. Go now."

Forthright: The Wedding Vows

Wedding Vows from Forthright...

Carlisle stepped before us and greeted the guests.

"Our dear family and friends, we are gathered here today in the sight of God to witness the union of this man and this woman. Edward and Bella have searched their hearts and each has prepared something to say to one another."

He nodded to Edward, who pulled a folded piece of paper out of the inner pocket of his tux. He unfolded the paper, but before he could finish unfolding it, he refolded it and placed it back into the pocket.

"I don't need that," he smiled, "To remember all of the things that I want to tell you today. For you see, I have wanted to say these things to you since before I first met you, Bella. Ever since the earliest moments around you, I have always wanted this day. I have always wanted you. All of this began before we ever spoke to one another. It was at the very sight of you that my very soul revived and was brought back to life. Who you are… your soul, is with me, even now, and I am convinced that with or without our bodies, we can live on and be together forever. It all started with a hope… and as the hope was nurtured, it grew into a belief… and that belief has matured to a sweet knowledge. The knowledge of love that you have brought to me runs through me… it is my life force… and truly, you are my life now. Isabella Marie Swan, I promise to love you for a long as we both shall live. If one day we cease to live, as long as some particle of my soul shall but remain, it will only ever belong to you; for I am yours forever."

I felt the tears well up in my eyes and I sighed as I felt them begin to roll down my cheeks. I looked down for a moment and took that time to breathe. His words were so beautiful and touched my heart in such a way that the tears began to flow more openly now. I sniffed and giggled a little.

"Thank you, Edward," I whispered, "Your words are so beautiful."

He smiled at me as I felt everyone's eyes turn to me. I became slightly nervous as I realized that they were all waiting for me to speak. I stared into Edward's eyes, and what I had thought I planned to say just slipped away. My heart was filled to the brim with love for him and although my original words I had prepared were nothing but true, what came out in that moment felt even truer. The moment that I had rehearsed in my mind melted away and a new, more genuine, sincere and forthright moment took its place.

"I have been independent my entire life," I started, "Singular and alone in the world. I've never relied on others before, and I never dreamed that I would want to. But I do want to, now. I want to rely on you, Edward Cullen. I depend on you. I am not weakened when I admit that. In fact, realizing this and saying it actually has the reverse effect. It makes me feel quite strong. I have never felt so strong before, but that is because I've never been truly in love before. I love you, Edward. And I need you. And I want to be with you forever. I promise to be yours and only yours for as long as I exist."

"Isabella Marie Swan," Edward smiled, "I take you to be my lawfully wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this moment forward. In the presence of God and our guests, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your dreams, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for all time."

"Edward Anthony Cullen," I said as he placed soft kisses on my wrists and palms, "I take you to be my friend, my lover, the father of our children and my husband. I vow that I will be yours in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of joy and in times of sorrow, in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to comfort and encourage you, to stay with you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of each passing year for all time."

I slid a gold band onto the ring finger of his left hand, and he slid the ten carat diamond ring that had been a part of his family's history for three, now four, generations onto the ring finger of my left hand.

We then turned to Carlisle, who closed our ceremony by binding us together with the authority that he held to do so.

"Edward and Bella, I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Edward Anthony Cullen. Mr. Cullen, you may now kiss your wife."

I watched as Edward lifted my veil and I closed my eyes as I felt a cool, gentle pressure against my lips.

**

So what's next? Well, I am torn between the honeymoon scene and skipping two months ahead to when the family and friends are enjoying one another's company on Thanksgiving Day, and Bella makes a special discovery! If you are reading this now, here is a little reward for you:

From the Author's Plot Notes, Forthright:

"Two months go by... we move from September to November and it is Thanksgiving Day at the Cullen's residence... Edward, Bella, the family and their friends are there; Charlie is there too. Everyone makes a toast to love and friendship and family. Seth has brought a date as well (he has imprinted on Kari Michelle, aka b4bystar). Because of the nature of her relationship with Seth, she has been allowed in on the secret. She is welcomed in with hugs and love from everyone. Charlie does NOT know anything yet...

"Bella is stressed out because she has missed her period the last two months. Alice asks if Bella wants to know why... Alice has seen a blond baby and a brunette baby, and she teases Bella saying that the future isn't fixed, so maybe Fate hasn't made up its mind about what Bella's baby is going to look like... Bella freaks out when she hears that she is pregnant... She insists on taking a pregnancy test, even though Alice laughs and tells her that will be completely unnecessary... Bella asks Alice if her visions have ever been inaccurate before, and Alice says that they often change depending on whether someone changes their mind... but she also teases Bella saying, "It looks like your uterus's mind has already been made up."

"Bella wonders at how this could have happened, being that she has been on the pill all this time... Rose snickers and says that since Edward isn't human and neither is she, technically, how can she count on the pill?"

Well, I hope this tiny teaser gives you a little taste of what's to come. It is true that I do have a pretty solid outline for this story, in that it is more specific than any other outline I've ever made. However, I already have made alterations in the first dozen chapters, so just know that everything is always subject to change until it is officially posted on fanfic.net.

Thanks for reading!

Until next time,

Steph